I got this letter from a lady seeking advice (the letter has been edited for clarity sake):
Mail: I am a young lady that works in a good organisation. Two years ago, I became pregnant for an engineer. I dated this engineer for two years before becoming pregnant.
After confirming I was pregnant from the doctor, I notified him. He initially denied the pregnancy. He subsequently accepted it after I put to bed and gave birth to a baby boy and after many pleas from his sisters and mum.
My issue is that he only accepted being the father but he does not want to take any responsibility for the baby. I have been personally taking care of the baby. He is also not talking about marriage either despite the fact that his mum has been pressurizing him to settle down with me. My son is 1 year and 1 month now and I need to move forward. Should I continue to wait or I should move on with my life? Please, I need your advice.
We meet different people every day of our lives and often times we do not know where our relationship with them would lead us. You are a mum today thanks to your relationship with this man. I am sure that having an unplanned baby has changed the course of your life. Whether it is a positive change or negative, it is your decision to make and I hope you choose right. You have a gift, cherish him.
Now to your question, don’t wait around for any man who is not making effort to be in your life. To an extent, I believe the only thing connecting both of you now is the baby. Move on with your life. Being a single mum is not the worst thing ever. It doesn’t mean you won’t get married (it does make it harder). It doesn’t mean you won’t be successful (if you are not from a well to do background, you may struggle initially). It is not the end of the world. Forget about him being the father if he is not ready to act the part. Try and be strong for your baby. Be his mother and father until you find that man who will accept you for who you are and love you and cherish you the same.
He has accepted nothing if the does not take a shared responsibility for raising the child. Besides, do you want to settle down with a man for the rest of your life that needs pressure to settle down with you? He will bail at the slightest opportunity and cause you unhappiness. I will advise that you raise your son in the best possible way ever and move on with your life to make a better tomorrow. Don’t be shackled down by his irresponsibility. A day will come when he’ll look back and wish he had acted differently.
What do you think she should do?