Alright! Alright!! You’re upset, low in spirit and messed up. He betrayed your love, he never respected your feelings and all, blah! Blah!! And you want to die. Hunnie, I’ve been there before and trust me, you’re going to end up in “yaba left” if you don’t get your life together. Trust me on that – 24 carat info. I mean, have you ever taken a trip to the psychiatric hospital, popularly known as “yaba left”? If u haven’t, I suggest u do.
Statistics have shown that 80% of the patients there are women. Their nervous breakdown resulted from failed marriages or very-very horrid relationships; elderly Women who couldn’t stand strong and let go of the woeful end products that resulted from failed marriages and young ladies who never wanted to let go of the pain inflicted on them by horrid men. These women couldn’t take charge of the stress in their lives and let go. And guess what? It resulted in a nervous breakdown.
I understand how you feel darling. Your time, energy and resources put into a relationship you nurtured for let’s say 6 6 years, 9 years or maybe 12 years and he runs off with the mail girl, housekeeper or worse, another man? It’s alright. As my father will always say,” Shit happens”. Now all I want you to do is breathe, stretch, grab an ice cold drink and work with me.
Now, how do you react when you hear or see something awful u weren’t expecting from a loved one? Your head starts pounding, you suddenly become disoriented, your mouth becomes dry, and then hot tears well up. Now that’s where we start up from. Don’t you dare hold them back. Cry! Cry!! And Cry!!! And if you want, you can scream your lungs out. Yes it’s OK to cry. When you’re low and you’re tired of being strong, you cry. Crying has been known to relieve stress. And ever noticed, that after crying, you feel good? You feel a bit elated. So hunnie, there ain’t no shame in letting those tears drop.
Then you allow common sense to fill your mind. When we’re in love, we don’t think with our head but with our heart. Now that the heart is broken, put the head to work. Ask yourself all the questions you should have asked yourself on a very good day and give answers to those questions. It helps when you think.
Also, there’s the TLC rule. “Tenderly love and care” for yourself. Eat well and sleep well. Go shopping, splurge on yourself. Abeg! (Rolling my Eyes). I mean, You only live once. Have a drink! I’ll suggest half a glass of Red wine when you want to relax, my favourite being Carlo Rossi. It’s soothing to the tongue and has this ecstatic feeling but please don’t go about getting drunk if you can’t deal with alcohol. The right intake of Alcohol is supposed to help loosen you up from frigidity and stress. So abusing it will only make you an object of mockery and honestly, it’s not something you want to experience.
And lastly, (I love this part sooo much), learn to talk to God about how you feel. BELIEVE IT OR NOT, there are times when you don’t want to talk to your girlfriends or even your mum. That’s when you go down on your knees and tell God exactly how you feel about the whole event. He listens. A portion of the bible even asks us to “cast our burdens unto him for he cares for us”. You might get a bit emotional at first but as you go on and on, you notice a sense of peace and belonging in you. A feeling of peace that passes all understanding flows into your heart. Joy unspeakable becomes your portion and then the Holy Spirit helps in retracing your steps and in becoming a better you.
So my darlings, you’re all superwomen. Regardless of all that may happen to you all, hold on and hold out. Stay strong, focused and above all let go. It helps…