I’m a 35 yes old single mum of a 14 year old girl. I have one older brother and a junior brother. I’m in the middle, an only girl. We are from three different fathers. I feel used, I feel abused, I feel messed up, I feel spiritually dead. Growing up, I used to be fucked by my elder brother from the age of 10-16. He disvirgined me. Whenever my mum leaves home to somewhere, I’m always shaky and sick because I know he would come for me. He would beat me if I resist because he cannot penetrate. Through the pains and tears, he would still be putting it telling me to relax. It happens whenever my mum is not around and he would tell my brother then a two years old to go play outside. Somehow, he left for portharcourt and I lost my soul. I felt cheated, abused, raped, lost and everything. Now i dont know what came over me I started telling my junior brother to suck me. Subsequently, I will tell him to insert his tiny penis inside of me but shame and conscience didn’t allow me to do it for long. Now grown up I feel like killing my junior brother who is married with two kids. I hate him, oh I hate him. I can kill him if given the opportunity. But ironically my junior brother stays with me and we are inseperable. Not sexually but blood things. He’s got my back like crazy. I like him so much, he’s 29 now and doing well. I wonder if he knew what I did and just want to let it pass or he didn’t know. My fear now is I’m having funny feelings towards my daughter even though I have never touched her before. We undress together, bath together as in she’s my pally. I need someone to take this girl away from me before the devil strikes, omg God forbid. Now I want to know can I get married. Is there a repercussion on what we did, help a sister and save me. I’m fine and alright but once in a while the memories comes flashing and I feel like throwing up or committing suicide

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