The best romantic stories and movies of all time always had an element of sadness, struggle and pain. It was and has never been easy. Even the bible says the greatest love of all is displayed when a man lays down his life for his friends. This is a very hard thing. True love requires you to give bits and pieces of you – your ego, money, time and sometimes your dreams. True love is about giving up and not receiving. It is about you giving up things you hold dear for the sake of another. This is what love has always been about.
When a relationship is full of “I can’t”, it is very likely the profession of love by either of the parties in the relationship may be false. You cannot say you love and then be selfish. You have guys who cannot give up their comfort for a girl they say they love. You have ladies who cannot give up their expectations for a guy they say they love. You have fathers and mothers who cannot sacrifice their time and obsession with things to raise their kids. It has become so easy to say the words “I love you” but so hard to live the words. Don’t be deceived, true love is a hard thing.
If you think true love is all about looking cute when you hold hands and taking walks on beaches as portrayed by the movies and music videos we watch, you need to wake. It is hard. The reason we experience many relationship failures is because we are not ready to walk the way of true love. The way of the true lover is hard.
A man will always have desires for multiple ladies. There will always be that urge to “hit” on another lady that is not his wife or girlfriend. He can give in to these urges without being caught but this brings into question his love for his wife or girlfriend. It is easier to cheat than do the hard thing love demands and say no.
She’s gorgeous and pretty. Men always hit on her. She has a loving boyfriend/husband. Yet she is unwilling to give up her love for material things and attention. She gives in all the time to requests she isn’t proud to share with her husband. Where is the love?
Until we realise that “happily ever after” never comes until we’ve fought many battles that will result in us losing our identities for the sake of another, true love will elude us. Don’t tell me you love me if you cannot point at the things you gave up. Where are your scars?
If true love is about giving, should you give up on your principles because of love? I would explain this from a religious standpoint using the bible as a guide. This is because to an extent our principles in life are derived from our religious beliefs; When Jesus was asked what the greatest commandment in the law was, He responded with love God and then love your neighbors. If your principles are derived from your love for God, you will never give them up because of your love for your neighbor. Ladies, if you choose personally to wait till marriage before you have sex because of your belief, do not let any guy tell you that you don’t love him because you have chosen to wait until marriage. You don’t give up principles of life like honesty, integrity, trust, faithfulness and so on in the name of love.
Anytime we speak the words “I love you”, let’s weigh it against what we gave up and what we are refusing to give up to determine if there is any meaning in the words we said.