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Male versus females at ATM Machines

   A sense of humour needed here

Male versus females at ATM Machines

Postby BigBrother on Fri May 29, 2009 2:44 pm

A new sign in the Bank Lobby reads:

"Please note that this Bank is installing new Drive-through ATM machines enabling customers to withdraw cash without leaving their vehicles.

Customers using this new facility are requested to use the procedures outlined below when accessing their accounts.

After months of careful research, MALE & FEMALE Procedures have been developed. Please follow the Appropriate steps for your gender."

*******************************

MALE PROCEDURE:

1. Drive up to the cash machine.

2. Put down your car window.

3. Insert card into machine and enter PIN.

4. Enter amount of cash required and withdraw.

5. Retrieve card, cash and receipt.

6. Put window up.

7. Drive off.

*******************************

FEMALE PROCEDURE:

Unfortunately, most of this part is the Truth.!!!!

1. Drive up to cash machine.

2. Reverse and back up the required amount to align car window with the machine.

3. Set parking brake, put the window down.

4. Find handbag, remove all contents on to passenger seat to locate card.

5. Tell person on cell phone you will call them back and hang up.

6. Attempt to insert card into machine.

7. Open car door to allow easier access to machine due to its excessive distance from the car.

8. Insert card.

9. Re-insert card the right way.


10. Dig through handbag to find diary with your PIN written on the inside back page.

11. Enter PIN.

12. Press cancel and re-enter correct PIN.

13. Enter amount of cash required.

14. Check makeup in rear view mirror.

15. Retrieve cash and receipt.

16. Empty handbag again to locate wallet and place cash inside.

17. Write debit amount in check register and place receipt in back of checkbook.


18. Re-check makeup.


19. Drive forward 2 feet.

20. Reverse back to cash machine.

21. Retrieve card.

22. Re-empty hand bag, locate card holder, and place card into the slot provided!

23. Give dirty look to irate male driver waiting behind you.

24. Restart stalled engine and pull off.

25. Redial person on cell phone.

26. Drive for 2 to 3 miles.

27. Release Parking Brake.
"Your life does not get better by chance, it gets better by change.” Jim Rohn
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Re: Male versus females at ATM Machines

Postby pippa on Fri May 29, 2009 7:59 pm

Following # 17 should be swearing because newly manicured nails got scratched from going through handbag to fish about for that seemingly elusive card ;););)
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Re: Male versus females at ATM Machines

Postby pippa on Fri May 29, 2009 8:00 pm

Naughty naughty naughty.
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Re: Male versus females at ATM Machines

Postby fola on Sat May 30, 2009 12:19 am

i find jokes like this very offensive and so im not going to laff
lol lol lol who am i kidding this is hilarious :lol:
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Re: Male versus females at ATM Machines

Postby pippa on Sat May 30, 2009 9:46 pm

You are incorrigible.
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Re: Male versus females at ATM Machines

Postby fola on Sun May 31, 2009 11:46 pm

:)
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